The Evil Eyebrow

Month: September 2008

  • John Scalzi in the Man!

    John Scalzi was at Dragon*Con this year, promoting his latest book, Zoe’s Tale. In his reading session on Sunday, he read the first chapter of High Castle.

    Hi-freaking-larious!

    I’m 100% certain that the chapter would not have been as funny if I had picked up the book at read it myself. John’s delivery was (can I say it?) fucking awesome with a few extra fuckings thrown in. His reading of the chapter makes me want to build a time machine tomorrow so I may move forward to Fall ’09 and read the book (which is when it is slated to be published. Woe is us.)

    Later on, I popped over to the author signing room to get my copy of Zoe’s Tale signed by the man himself. Amusingly enough (I blame this entirely on the non-obvious setup inside the room) I totally skipped the line and walked directly up to the table where John Scalzi was signing the book of someone else. He gave me this very strange look and that’s when I realized that there was a whole line of people busy melting me with their eyes. I would have been dust if their Evil Eyes had been functioning correctly.

    Needless to say, I apologized profusely and went to the back of the line. John was nice enough to memorialize the event with his signature.
    Scalzi Signature

    If you can’t read it it says: “Bill – I’m signing this even though you are a bossy bossy line jumper. Go and sin no more.”

  • PodCastle Reading

    I have it on good authority (the editor, Rachael, tells me so) that the story I read for PodCastle will be posted today. (edit: here’s the link)

    PodCastle is the Fantasy sibling/spinoff to EscapePod. The story I read is called “It Takes a Town” and no, it’s not about Hillary Clinton’s book. It’s about a small rural town taking the space program into their own hands. A bit of a scifi/fantasy edge novel, but I think you’ll agree that it comes down on the fantastic side after listening.

    Let me know what you think! Reading the story was a lot different from doing my Talking Traffic recordings. When I record my own writings, it’s easier to go with the flow and to re-write spontaneously. When reading someone else’s writing, you have to do every single word correctly, and that turned out to be more difficult that I imagined. There were parts of the story that took more than a few attempts to get right. Luckily, I know Steve Eley (who’s the editor of EscapePod and the founder of PodCastle and PseudoPod) who has a sweet microphone setup. Unluckily, he lives 40 minutes away, which doesn’t lend itself to second takes of the recording. A few areas of the story I could have done with re-recording, but overall, I’m satisfied. Next time will be better. And, according to my email, there will be a next time. With spanish!

  • Why The LHC Won't Destroy the Earth

    There’s been lots of noise this summer about the incipient destruction of the Earth by the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva. There’s been scientists quoted as saying, basically, “Yes, there’s a teeny tiny chance that the LHC will produce black holes or quantum strangelets or Evil Elmo, but it’s so small as to be negligible.” These quotes are then re-processed as to say “Scientists declare that Elmo may Devour World!”

    This is all silly. But not for the reasons you might think. First, here’s my Declaration:

    I, William M. Ruhsam, Jr., guarantee that the LHC will not destroy the Earth. There is no possibility, at all, that this may occur. I’ll stake anything you care to name on that fact.

    This is not bravado. I have total confidence in this. Why?

    Because it won’t matter one little tiny damn bit if I’m wrong. If I’m wrong, we’re all either sucked into a black hole, blown to smithereens, or eaten by a cosmic muppet. There’s no downside that results in me having to eat my words. Scientists are being too scientific! They’re not examining the consequences if they’re wrong. Consequences = none because we have to be here for there to be consequences.

    So, particle physicists, you have my permission to state boldly that there is no possibility of the LHC wreaking havoc on us. You can say this with certainty, standing up proud. No ethics committee will have time to convene if you’re wrong.

  • Saturday Chores

    The Saturday/weekend following Dragon*Con is usually about catching up on stuff that hasn’t been caught up on in a while1. Case in point, shining shoes.

    Shoes being Shined

    I take reasonably good care of my shoes, but I don’t work in an office that is shirt/tie, so I usually only touch up the polish and buff them up. However, I occasionally pull out the whole rig and go full bore into getting the shine back into top notch condition.

    One of the things that I never learned growing up was how to shine shoes well. I’ve managed to stumble my way into a good skill set2, but I wonder if I was never taught, or if I just don’t remember. I’ll have to ask dad.

    1One of which was obviously not, “Finish blogging about Dragon*Con”
    2Tools include a buffing brush, a polish brush, a rag, a can of black polish (even on my brown shoes) and cotton balls. Very simple.

  • Top Eleven Worst Supervillains

    An everyone knows, writing Top Ten lists is the besstest way to get blog traffic. This leads to really terrible top ten lists such as Top Ten Celebrity Chihuahuas and Top Ten Star Trek Kisses and Top Ten Top Ten Lists.

    I usually avoid these.

    This one, however, is an exception. It’s worth the read. The 11 Lamest Supervillains in History, Ever.

  • Attention Peeps! Possible Podcast

    Jenn has floated the idea of her and me doing a CoupleCast™ wherein we discuss, together, our running and triathlon training in an open format.

    Question: Would you listen?
    Question: Would you care?
    Question: Do I think I have the time for this? (answer, probably not)

    We’d probably have started doing this already, but in order to do it well, we need to get some new equipment for recording; headsets plugged into USB ports don’t lend to good recording conditions for more than one person.

    So, opinions?

  • Chris is Made!

    My friend Chris, who’s costume has been mentioned before, and who describes his costume here, got linked through from Bad Astronomy. In my circle, that’s like gold, man!

  • Cylon for President, with Terminal Case as Veep!

    I love election season.

    Not only do you get bumper stickers like “Republicans for Voldemort!” , but you get fake campaigns like Zod for President (who came so close to winning last time).

    Now we have the Saul Tigh/Laura Roslin ticket. Who doesn’t want to vote for a known alien, who’s species has been reliably described as “racist” and “anti-human” and “monomaniacal people exterminators”? And who wouldn’t want a running mate that is guaranteed to be dead within months of inauguration? It’s a perfect choice!

  • John Scalzi Short Stories

    For my friends, whom I discussed this with:

    John Scalzi story, involving time travel products.

    John Scalzi story, a short involving Harry Wilson in the Old Man’s War universe.

    John Scalzi story, released just yesterday. Screw Tempe!

  • Kitten War!

    No, these aren’t “war kittens”, they’re ever so much better.

    Kittenwar!

    Ah, brings me back to the good old days when Hot Or Not was new.