The Evil Eyebrow

Category: Random

  • Head Transportation

    When you’re transporting human heads, don’t lose your paperwork.

    Or get stopped for speeding.

  • Comment Spam

    I don’t get much comment spam that I have to directly moderate. Most of it is picked up by the wordpress-default comment spam eliminator Aksimet. I get some, though, and the majority is linking to (allegedly) prescription drug or (definitely) sex sites.

    One in particular has been hitting my moderation queue in the past week. It’s Asstraffic.com. For some reason, that URL amuses me. I get a bit of a chuckle every time I see it. That doesn’t keep me from depositing it in spam purgatory, though. Maybe Asstraffic.com is something I can talk about on Talking Traffic?

    Maybe not. I don’t think it fits the theme.

  • Random Podcast!

    This is a random sound posting. Don’t listen to it. It’s boring. I’m doing this out of pure ego. I recorded my voice, therefore I must share it with the world.

  • Holy Racism, Batman!

    Through a fluke set of circumstances, I ended up beginning to read the story, “Tom Swift and his Electric Rifle.” You may recognize this as the derivation of the acronym TASER (Thomas A. Smith Electric Rifle).

    Not knowing much about the story, who wrote it, or when it was published, I dove in. As I read, I gathered through context that it was written earlier in the century (airships, monoplanes) and that it was a youth adventure story (both true). Then I hit this dialogue [emphasis mine]:

    “Rad! I say, Rad! Where are you?”

    “Heah I is, Massa Tom! Heah I is” called a colored man as he came around the corner of a small stable where he kept his mule Boomerang. “Was yo’-all callin’ me?”

    “Yes, Rad, I want you to help make a scarecrow.”

    “A scarecrow, Massa Tom! Good land a’ massy! What fo’ yo’ want ob a scarecrow? Yo’-all ain’t raisin’ no corn, am yo’?”

    “No, but I want something to shoot at when Ned Newton comes over to-night.”

    “Suffin t’ shoot at? Why Massa Tom! Good land a’ massy! Yo’-all ain’t gwine t’ hab no duel, am yo’?”

    “No, Rad, but I want a life-size figure on which to try my new electric gun. Here are some old clothes, and if you will stuff them with rags and straw and fix them so they’ll stand up, they’ll do first-rate. Have it ready by night, and set it up at the far end of the shooting gallery.”

    “All right, Massa Tom. I’ll jest do dat, fo’ yo’,” and leaving the colored man to stuff the figure, after he had showed him how, Tom went back into the house to read the paper which he had purchased that morning.

    I was born in the 70’s and raised in the 80’s and 90’s. I have no concept of being able to think like this. I think the most egregious part of this dialogue was Tom Smith showing Rad how to make the scarecrow. Who the heck, even then, would think a black man couldn’t know how to make a scarecrow? It’s obviously assumed that anything that Tom (white) doesn’t tell Rad (black), won’t get done.

    This novel was published in 1911. Only 48 years after the Emancipation Proclamation. And I am intellectually aware of the climate surrounding race relations prior to World War II, which was 28 years after publication. Still, this shocks me. Is it a good thing that I’m shocked, indicating a deep acceptance of racial equality, or a bad thing, showing that I just don’t grok history?

    At least I am not famed scientist James Watson, co-credited-discoverer of DNA, who thinks africans are less intelligent than caucasians.

  • Things you See in the ER

    Last night, we had to spend some time in the veterinary emergency room. Our cat was exhibiting some distressing symptoms. Verdict is: Who knows. Maybe a stroke. Maybe a seizure (although apparently cats don’t get seizures like people do, the convulsions are symptomatic of something else, instead). Maybe a dislocated clot that caused her excessive pain. Maybe a brain tumor. No idea. We know it wasn’t hypertension because, despite the amount of noise she was making during the blood pressure test, she had perfectly normal pressure. Hopefully this is a one time thing, but we’ll watch her carefully for the next few weeks.

    But, that’s not what this post is about. We were in the ER last night about 1:30 AM when two big, burly guys come rolling in carrying their huntin’ dawgs. They were dressed in mudders and other clothing that indicated that they had just come from the hunt. Their dogs had both been bitten by a snake or snakes. They were justifiably concerned.

    My question: What were these guys hunting at night? With dogs? One of the dogs had a radio collar of some sort on. I imagine it was a tracker? I am excessively curious what they were doing. And, what self respecting snake is awake at night to bite those dogs?

    Curiouser and curiouser.

  • Wicked Cool Model Rocket

    If you were an Estes kid, you’ll like this link. Go and see the 21′ Xwing fighter.

  • Meyers-Briggs Workshop

    I’m going through “New Manager’s Orientation” this week. Part of the day one festivities was a Meyers-Briggs workshop. If you’ve never done one, don’t worry about the details, it’s not relevant to my anecdote. If you have, I’m an ESTJ. Eat that, mofos!

    Anyway, the woman conducting the workshop kept describing the various categories of personality in a fashion that called troops of monkeys to my mind. I had this persistent image of the lot of us in the conference room jumping on the tables and hooting, flinging poo about. It kept me entertained.

    Don’t let the previous statement allow you to think I found no worth in the workshop. Au contraire! I felt it was edifying and useful. But sometimes, the mental images just won’t go away.

    Scat! Damn imagination…

  • Air Guitar Championships

    Airport CNN alerted me to the fact that the Air Guitar Championships were recently held. Wow.

  • Wifi Access

    I’m on a business trip today, and to complement my time, I borrowed the office laptop, rife with wifi connectivity. I intended to sit at my gate at Hartsfield-Jackson Intl. Airport, checking my morning email, perhaps blogging, but I discovered that, although there are six available wireless networks in Terminal A, all are pay services. There’s nothing free for me to hook into.

    The cheapest one is T-Mobile HotSpot, for $4.99 a day, but apparently you need to be a member. Everybody else is $7.95 per day.

    I don’t understand the economics of this service. Let’s stipulate that I’m a frequent business traveler who depends on internet connectivity to do my work. It has got to be cheaper to go in through my cell phone than to pay $4.99 a day. On the reverse side, if I’m not a frequent business traveler, I can wait until I get somewhere with better priced (i.e. “free”) internet access.

    I suppose they wouldn’t be maintaining these price plans at ATL if no one was using them, but I can say that I’m not one of them.

  • Open Thread

    Lurkers Unite! I know you’re out there. There’s at least two I’m aware of. If you lurk this blog, I demand that you comment, at least so your email address gets into the list-of-emails-with-moderated-comments. Then the next time you comment, you won’t get moderated! Yay!

    I’ll start it off. Bill Clinton sounded like an elder statesman this morning, while GW Bush sounded lide a n00b. Discuss.