Apocalypse When?

In case you’ve been hiding away from the internet, you might not be aware that you have a measly five days to live (plus or minus, depending on your time zone).

Yes, that’s right, the apocalypse is coming this Saturday, May 21, 2011. At 6:00 PM. Local time. Your local time, wherever you are1.

Harold Camping, of Family Radio fame, has predicted absolutely that the Christian Rapture will occur this Saturday and all the rest of us will be left behind for a five month period of torment, after which God will destroy the universe utterly. Of course, he’s predicted the endtimes before, in 1994. He made a slight miscalculation apparently and after further research and study, he’s come up with this weekend.

I find the idea pretty funny, or I would if enough people didn’t believe in it to get its own movement.

For those of you out there who truly believe you will be Raptured, I will happily take care of your post-rapture business, including caring for your pets, for the low-low price of $100. Please send me an email and I’ll arrange a PayPal transfer or other acceptable transfer of payment. If you feel that sum is too low, or wish to take care of the rest of your worldly assets, I can make those arrangements, too.

  1. I have no idea if the apocalypse corrects for daylight saving time, or if it acknowleges those areas that don’t observe it []
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