I'm Invited!

Ivanka Trump wants to teach me her secrets of success.


If you can’t read that tiny text above Ivanka’s head, here’s a closeup.


Whoopee! I can learn her self-made millionaire secrets, which probably boil down to, “I’m really good at picking my parents.”

But the wrapper on this piece of candy was the first sentence of the accompanying brochure.


“4”? I have no response to that.

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